April 27th, 2005
|07:39 pm - Loneliness...|
Sorry for the lack of updates. For the past year or so (it's been so long; I've lost track of the time), I've holed up in my apartment, my only companion beerchan. And he's not good for much intelligent conversation. ::soft laugh:: I'm not dead, as I'm sure many of you have assumed. Well, not physically at least. The loneliness in my heart has more or less killed me on the inside. I don't go out, I don't talk on the phone, I never get any e-mails; I don't even know why I'm updating this. It's not like anyone will read it... I guess I'm writing this in the empty hopes that someone out there will read it and maybe care. *sigh* I miss all my friends out there; well, maybe not friends persay, but the people that were nice to me. I do check up on them, albiet passively; I don't actually contact any of them. The wonders of the Internet, right?
beerchan is drunk again and acting up. There's a suprise. What a strange little creature. Who would think that something that could fit in the palm of my hand could fit an entire six-pack of beer in it? Where does it all go? Anywho, he's swimming in the toilet again; I should go get him out before he tries to swim down into "the magical cave", as he calls it...
Current Mood: lonely
November 4th, 2003
|04:42 pm - Gomen nasai...|
I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I'm not even sure if any of you guys even noticed me being gone. No one did when I was across the galaxy for three months... But anyway, I wanted to tell you all about a wonderful, wonderful person that I met the other day...
( A new friendCollapse )
Current Mood: Extremely Happy for a Change!
October 11th, 2003
|11:23 pm - I fear...|
I fear I ruined my chances at being friends with Mana... We talked on the phone for a little a while back, but I got cut off and never called him back... *sigh* Ah well, another day, another prospective (and past) friendship that is to never blossom... In better news, I've begun to sing again, albeit alone, but I'm working on my voice. I realize that the reason Velvet Eden never got anywhere was my voice. I was the downfall of my own work. I'm considering getting voice lessons too. Perhaps I can't be helped though. I got a job woking at a new store that opened up at my local mall. It's a gothy-alternative-punky-ish clothing store. I'm working there full time as an assistant manager. They're completely cool with the way I dress. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's how I got the job. lol Wow... I actually laughed there. That's something I haven't done in quite some time... I'm suprised I still know how to do it. Anyway, I really like my job, but it's not what I love doing. I want to perform again. Be on the stage. Under the lights. I miss that. I miss the gleam of recognition I used to see in people's eyes when they came to a show. I... I miss it all. I miss my bandmates. I miss the roadies. I miss the few friends I had. I feel so alone, with only beerchan here to keep me company. I want human companionship. Not neccisarily a boyfriend or girlfriend. Just a friend. It seems that everytime I begin to get close to someone, I screw it up and lose all chances of a friendship. As I listen to my old songs, the blackened tears race down my face to fall upon my already black dress. I fear. Yes, I fear being alone. I live my fear...
Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: Sad Mask
September 9th, 2003
|04:54 pm - The lonliness that encompasses me so fully...|
Is about to end. I'm tired of being so alone (save for beerchan), so from now one I'm not going to sit here and wait. Don't get me wrong, beerchan is great (at least when he's drunk), but I need real people interaction. Perhaps I'll mend past friendships. In fact, I think I'll call Mana....
Current Mood: determined
September 2nd, 2003
|02:57 am - A late night rambling....|
I know you guys are sick of hearing about how lonely I am, so I'll spare you. But I will say that I miss all my past friends (the few that I had), and I hope to make new ones in the future. I vow from now on to be more assertive, more outgoing. I have passed up many chances to mend what is broken and to build new relationships. My relationship with aoitentation was more than likely ruined by my neglection of him. I have only myself to blame, and only myself can fix things. I just hope I don't screw up horribly in the process; though its not like I have anything to lose, right?
Current Mood: lonely
August 22nd, 2003
|02:00 am - YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!|
Finally something good has happened in my life! aoitentation has given me back his face! Arigato, Mana Sama! In celebration, I took some pictures! One turned out especially nice, and I turned it into my icon too! ^_^
( Check it out!Collapse )
Current Mood: ecstatic
August 15th, 2003
|10:07 pm - Dada E-mails #9 & #10|
You know what's weird? Since I declaired I wasn't going to do the e-mails on a weekly basis, I've gotten more than I had before combined! O_O Not that I'm complaining or anything.... Anywho, on to the e-mails!
Where is the Absolute Best place to find little Chibi-Jrocker clothes? Perferably hamster sized.
Also other fashion excessories would be apreciated. Like lolita dresses. Or fruits style clothing.
Maybe even a little hamster cat walk?
Plus sized clothing is a must for Chibi-Kirito has never worked off those extra pounds.
Some random rythm guitarist of a popular rock band not named Jun.
Dear Some random rythm guitarist of a popular rock band not named Jun,
I know when I want to dress my non-existant hampster up, there's only one place to go: Hampster Outfitters International! Located in scenic Hamsteria, this quiant looking building of tubes and sawdust houses the worlds most impressive collection of hampster clothes! Everything from gothic lolita, to punk, to renaissance garb, to bathing suits; they even have a cosplay section! There's something for every hampster to be found here, for all price ranges!
Dude, that place rocks. Beerchan just got a new beer-bathing suit there, even though he's not a hampster. Come to think of it, he doesn't wear anything either.... What an odd little creature-thing.... Ah well, he was prolly drunk when he picked it out..... Anywho, on to the next inquiry!
have hold your wallet?
Well, you can have it, I guess. But it won't do you much good. I don't carry any cash, and my credit cards all ask for ID on the backs.... If you really want it though, lemme empty it out first.... Beerchan's ID is in there, and he'd be kinda upset if he couldn't get any beer. Trust me, you don't want to piss him off. He's normally a happy drunk, but he can be a vicious little guy!
Current Mood: confused
|08:56 pm - ;_______________________;|
Current Mood: lonely
|01:55 am - Dada E-mails #7 & #8|
Got two more e-mails for you guys... First up:
Why does BWI airport SUCK so much?
~____~ seattle, WA
Well Tilde Face, I don't know much about that airport other than it's fun to say! BWIIIIIIII!!!!! XD My guess would be that it's an airport that really needs to get it's shit together and finish a bunch of construction. Also, there are certain airlines that really suck hardcore.... Hehehehehehehehehe, I wonder if Hooters Air sucks? XD You know, you could always solve the mistery of how to break the time-space continuim, create a worm hole, and basically just warp to wherever you want. Speaking of which, I tried to jump down a big green pipe once and nothing happened, 'cept I landed in a bunch of mud and ruined my clothes. Those Mario brothers are liars! LIARS I TELL YOU!!!
::fume:: I hate those guys... Anywho, on to the next one!
I want to make the bestest jrocker costume?
Can you show me?
Well Trrrrr.... Trrruh.... Trrrrah.... Ah, screw it. Basically, you need a petticoat. Yeah, you definitely need one of those! They're all floofy and bouncy! Whee! Ahem! Then you need a nice corset. Preferably vinyl, but you can use your own discression. And, of course, you gotta shave your legs and wear pretty stockings! And the boots! You MUST have good boots! It's essential to the look. And NO bad hair! Bad hair is.... well.... bad! And don't even get me started on makeup! Bad makeup is worse than bad! It's bad, and wrong! It's bad-wrong! Hell, it's badong! Also, stealing Mana's face is really helpful too, though you have to pay rent and interest and stuff.... Be careful though; First Mutual of Mana forcloses fast and without mercy!
Current Mood: crazy
August 14th, 2003
|01:57 am - To be my old self again....|
Well, I went shopping the other day (before the loss of Larry) for clothes for the club. I had my piciture taken before I left. *sigh* It's a good thing cameras have self-timers, 'cause I have no one to take my picture.... Anywho, take a looksie:
I felt really pretty, even if I've changed my makeup a bit. I think this look is softer, less harsh than before. And it still has Mana's face in it! XD Anywho, click the picture to see the full version. *sigh* I miss dressing up and having fun like that....
Current Mood: nostalgic
August 13th, 2003
|09:56 pm - Dada E-mail #6|
Why is there so much corn in the state of Pennsylvania? In case you're wondering, Pennsylvania is one of the states that make up the USA. Anyway, I was just wondering if you could answer this mystery!
Popcorned in PA
I didn't know there was lots of corn there, I thought there were just vampires and stuff.... But if I had to venture a guess, I'd say it's 'cause there's prolly nothing else there, and people get really really really really really really bored and like to grow corn. Those sick fucks....
Current Mood: contemplative
|02:36 am - Lamenting a Loss and Finding a Friend....|
This past weekend saw the passing away of my good friend Larry the Lightsaber.... To some of you, he was little more than a high-tech beam of plasma encased in a mag-con field capable of cutting through virtually anything. To others, he was simply a figment of my imagination. Whatever he was to you, he was my dear friend. After what happend with darth_lida, he was all I had left.... Last Friday, he was lost to me in a tragic belt-clip accident.... The clip didn't hold and he fell right off, breaking into pieces.... *sniff* We'll--or at least I'll--miss you.....
In better news, I found a new friend over the weekend too! beerchan has come into my life and shown me there's more to getting drunk than, um, getting drunk! I'm not sure what the hell he/she/it is, but he's hella fun to hang out with! Anywho, the party last week was kind of a bust. Danced some, and met lusciousvampire, and saw kozi and syntheticryonai. Also ran into masamasa. I've been to worse parties, but I've definitely been to better ones too....
I've decided that I'm not gonna do the e-mails every Monday... This may come as a suprise to you guys, but I didn't really get most of those e-mails.... Only one or two were real ones. *sigh* Can you feel the love? Perhaps I'll let beerchan take a few e-mails sometime or something. Anywho, I'll throw out an e-mail whenever I actually get one. Well, beerchan's calling. I'm gonna go temporarily fix my problems.
Current Mood: indescribable
August 3rd, 2003
|10:23 pm - Dada E-Mail #5|
Well, the search for my other half continues, but the e-mails don't stop floodin' in! Here's this week's random pick!
A swallow could carry a coconut by gripping it by the husk, right?
Well, it's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, unless it's an African Swallow, of course... Then again, African Swallows are non-migratory, so they couldn't bring a coconut with them.... Now, two European Swallows might be able to carry a coconut using a strand of creeper between them.......
Current Mood: contemplative
August 1st, 2003
|04:05 pm - Will I Ever Find My Other Half?|
Once again, I sit in my home, all alone, with no one but myself and my computer to talk to. I watched a movie today, one that moved me quite a bit. It's called Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It's about a transvestite rock singer. Anyway, it moved me because he's constantly searching for his other half. The movie puts forth the theory that we were all split from our other halves when the gods grew scared of us. I see a lot of my qualities mirrored in him; just as he searches for his other half, it is clear that I must find my other half. But is it a he or a she? What does this person look like? Identical to me? Or somehow complimentary? Does my other half have what I don't? Did he get the looks? The luck? The love? Were we really separated forcibly? Or did he just run off with the good stuff? Or did I? Will this person embarass me? What about sex? Is that how we put ourselves back together again? Or can two people actually become one again? If so, can we still use the carpool lane? These questions and more burn at the back of my mind on a daily basis. Lonliness is not the path I want to walk, but what is there that I can do about it? I'm just an "Internationally Ignored Song-Stylist", just like Hedwig; I bear no unique qualities, aside from my voice, and many would argue that it is NOT one of my better qualities. My image is but a copy of the person I idolize. As it stands now, I have little to no future. I have no job, no gigs, no band, no friends. Luckily I paid off my apartment back when I was actually doing something with my life. When I leave my apartment, people run up to me. I used to get excited by this; perhaps I still had fans out there! But I've come to realize that they just think I'm Mana. And when I tell them I'm not, the glint of happiness leaves their eyes, and they walk away. The look of a young person's hopes being crushed is mirrored inside myself every time I go to an audition. My voice is too "unique", they say. "Can you play any instruments?" they ask. Will I ever make anything of myself again? Will I ever find my other half? Will I ever even make friends? At least there's a party coming up next weekend that I can look forward to. Although, once again, I will just be "Internationallly Ignored".... But who knows? Opportunity often chooses strange times to knock...
((OOC: I know I posted a little while ago, but I revised it and reposted this post. It may look the same, but there's a few differences in it.))
Current Mood: lonely
July 28th, 2003
|09:45 pm - Dada E-mail #3 & #4|
Hideyho everyone! Nothin much new in the world of Dada... I lost Larry the other night, and I haven't been able to track him down.... *sigh* Anywho, on to another one of my "adoring fans" e-mails!
Dear Dada San,
How do you type with those long finger things?
Well, Steve Co, it's really and interesting story--
Okay, that wasn't really fair, so I'll throw out another for ya!
Dear Dada Sama,
How can I learn to be as totally awesome and pretty as you are? I want to look sooo good!
The Ugly One
O_O Um... Well.... I guess you can start by being ostracized by your friends, and sitting in a corner playing with origami.... Beyond that, you could try acting really strange and hyper. Not really sure what else to say, Ugly One.... Good luck?
Well, that was pretty odd. If someone wants to be as "cool and good looking as me", they must be REALLY desperate! I feel sorry for them.... Poor, poor person.....
Current Mood: confused
July 21st, 2003
|09:27 pm - Dada E-mail #2|
Hi everybody! Not much has happened in my life in the past week. Hell, not much has happened in my life since I got back from Tatooine... For that matter, I doubt anything will happen in my life in the percievable future.... *sigh* Oh well... Anyway, I got TONS of responses to my e-mail post last week, and thought I'd share my favorite with you! On to the e-mail!
How do you get chocolate stains out of a persian carpet?
I did some heavy research into the subject and have come to the conclusion that you can pour black ink, or dye, or even blood all over the stain, and you won't be able to see the stain anymore! ^_^ There was some crap about carpet cleaner or something, but I hardly believe something like that would work. OH! Or, you could put like a sofa, coffin, torture rack, or even a rug (although I don't know why you'd do that; it's not very creative) over it! Also, some gasoline or lighter fluid with a match or lighter would get the stain out pretty quick. ::nods::
Tada! Sometimes I'm so smart I even outsmart myself! ^_^ Anywho, keep the e-mails comin', or I might have to make up my own! XD
((OOC: Sorry this is late getting posted today; I've been sick all weekend and had to work 8 hours today! X_x)
Current Mood: Intelligent
July 14th, 2003
|03:33 pm - Dada E-Mail #1|
Hi everyone! I was goin' through my back-up hard drive and found a bunch of old e-mails from fans, back in the day when people knew who I was. Well, some are kinda odd, so I thought I'd share them with you. I'll do one a week for you guys, how's that sound? Okay, on to e-mail #1:
How exactly did you steal Mana's face? I mean, I look at him, and it looks like he still has his face....
Well Nick, it's an interesting story, actually. You see, Mana and I were hangin' by the stick one day, lookin' at a thing in a bag, when suddenly I realized I looked like a man! I glanced over at Mana, and realized he didn't look like a man. The jealousy rose and rose over time, until 30 seconds later I realized my thing in a bag was a chainsaw! So I very, very carefully cut his face off with said chainsaw, and use it as my own now! Don't worry, I let Mana borrow his face for performances and stuff. I'm not a complete meany-head! ^_^
Well kids, there you have it. The first in a series of fun e-mails answered by yours truely! Feel free to e-mail me with any fun questions you guys have! §§~_^§§
((OOC: I made a new icon to go with the e-mails too! None of you can read it, but it actually says "Dear Dada, How do you type with those long finger things? Strong Bad, Strongbadia" XD Also, the story of Mana's face isn't actually part of our storyline. It's just a joke that Dada has. ~_^))
Current Mood: devious
July 7th, 2003
|09:45 pm - Got bored today...|
In hopes of perhaps raising my self-esteem just a little (which failed, but oh well...), I did this in Photoshop:
I know it's not much, but I thought it turned out nicely. Blurring stuff can be fun. lol I even signed it, so that I could remember how to sign an autograph...
Current Mood: depressed
|12:18 am - A failure...|
After that bit of fan-mail, I thought I could do it. I thought I was strong enough. But I was wrong. I can't do it; can't be assertive, outgoing, social. I'm a failure. A complete and total failure. I have no band, no job, no friends, and I'm almost out of money. I have what seems like no future. As I sit in front of the mirror, I can see each tear clinging to the individual eyelashes before finally releasing their grip to fall on my cheeks. I see the darkness that trails those tears as they race for my chin and attempt to stain my black dress. I'm so lonely and cold. Even now, in the height of summer, I sit near the fire, shivering from the icy frost of lonliness that dwells within. But I have not lost all hope. Everyday I wake, and hope that today will be the day that something happens. That perhaps I will recieve a call from a would-be friend, or even my agent... But that day has not come. So for now, I will turn in for the evening; for tomorrow is a new day, filled with old hopes. *sigh*
Current Mood: lonely
July 3rd, 2003
|04:24 pm - O_O|
Apparently there's some mushrooms called Velvet Eden! Look at this! That is crazy! Anywho, I've been sittin' here all day waiting for the courier to deliver my copy of Star Wars Galaxies. Oh wait, I have some new e-mail... BRB
HOLY SHIT! LOOK AT THIS! I STILL HAVE AT LEAST ONE FAN!
Dear Dada Sama,
Hi there, my name is Aryana, and I'm from the United States. I've been somewhat of a fan for quite a while now, and I felt that I should write you. For a while, I wondered what happened to you. Then I found your journal. I've read that you've been to space and back. I bet that was an amazing adventure. I've also read that you've been incredibly lonely. I wanted to let you know that I know how you feel. You see, I too am a guy. A guy that, much like yourself, likes to break the norms of society by wearing "different" clothing. For this, I find myself constantly shunned. I wish I could be with the group of people that you constantly interact with (even if they don't neccisarily interact with you), for they accept the way you look, and many of them have outrageous looks as well. Here in the States, you don't find many people like that. I was raised in a very conservative household, and my parents have even burned my clothes at times. So you see, you're not alone in this world. There are people out there who understand who you are, what you've been through (okay, maybe not the space thing, but you get my point). You are a very wonderful, beautiful person, Dada. I can only hope to one day acheive even a fraction of what you have. Keep your chin up, and perhaps go out on a limb a litte; initiate conversation, reach out to the people whom you'd like to call friends. You'd be suprised what a little assertiveness can acheive. ~_^
Your Loving Fan,
I'm stunned. I don't know what to say.... It's been so long since I've gotten fanmail... Much less fanmail that isn't just "You're so pretty!" crap... Perhaps he's right; maybe I should try to be a little more assertive... I mean, hell, it's not like I could potentially lose friends by making a wrong move; you have to have friends in the first place for that to happen. Maybe I should call aoitentation. Maybe he'd like to talk to me. Maybe.... tomorrow. I just can't do it right now.... But anyway, since I know you're reading this, Thank you Aryana. Your letter meant a lot to me.
Current Mood: shocked
July 1st, 2003
|09:55 pm - 6 Questions and a Nightmare|
What's been goin' on in my life lately? Nothing. Absoblutely nothing. I sit at home, waiting for something interesting to happen. Does it? No. Never. Everyday, I get up, shower, put on my clothes and makeup, and sit. Waiting for what? I do not know. Something. Anything. What do I get? Nothing. No one calls, e-mails, writes, IMs, sends an owl, nothing. So now the I ask myself 6 questions: Why, What, Where, When, Who, and How? Why. Why sit here all day, waiting for nothing? Why does no one contact me? What. What am I doing wrong? What have I done wrong? What can I do better? Where. Where do I fit in? Where will I find my other half? When. When will people pay attention to me? When will I find friends? When will I not be alone? Who. Who will be there for me? Who really cares? How. How can I be a better person? How can I fix my life? *sigh* The nightmares come nightly (and sometimes daily), and no matter how far I run, how many dunes I climb, I never find my friend. There has been one addition to the dream though... Now a sandstorm is following me, and once again, no matter how fast I run, it slowly gains on me. The closer it gets, the more the sand slices into me, stinging, grinding, cutting me. Everynight, it gets closer, the pain more intense... As I sleep, I live a nightmare. By day, nothing has changed, only that I find it's true.
Current Mood: depressed
June 24th, 2003
|04:19 am - Home...|
Well, the cruise was... Interesting... There was no one young ('cept REALLY young) on the ship, 'cept this one guy.... He was really cute. He was American, a little under 6 feet (I think), and he had black hair to his chin.... He didn't talk to many people though. I saw him reading most of the time... He was really cute. *sigh* But, as usual, I was ignored. I didn't get up the guts to talk to him, though even if I had, language woulda been a little bit of a barrier. The food was great on the ship, though our ports blew ass. It was really beautiful, but I would NEVER be able to live there! There's friggin' nothing to do there!!!! And the sun hardly went down at all! And there was all of like 1 Japanese person working on the ship! Luckily, she was a bartender. Hehe... Anywho, not that any of you even noticed that I was gone, but I wanted to tell you guys that I'm back. *sigh* Who am I kidding? I might as well still be gone. No one notices me when I'm here, and no one notices when I'm gone. It's like I have an invisibility cloak super-glued to me. But yeah, I'm home...
Current Mood: drained
June 10th, 2003
|02:11 pm - Ooh!|
Apparently, while I was gone, I won a cruise to Alaska! O_O Took me 4 hours to go through all the piled up mail.... So anyway, I'm off tomorrow for it, and I'll be back the 20th. I appologize for gettin' back to earth, then leavin' for a cruise almost immediately... Like anyone would notice I was gone... I gotsta go pack now, so I'm sorry this post is so short.... And Emiru, I'm sorry I can't be here for you. I hope things work out for you, I really do. ::hugs::
( OOCCollapse )
June 8th, 2003
|11:00 am - It feels good to be home... Right?|
What a headache.... There's so much of last night that I don't remember.... Figures.... I get home, and what do I do? Drink myself to death... I remember meeting a few new people, running into Monkey, drinking a lot of wine, some twisted game of truth or dare, and talking to Mana... I think I may have poured my heart out to him a little too much and creeped him out... I really do miss him though... I even cried a little after talking to him.... After I passed out, I kept having nightmares that I was stranded on Tatooine in the desert, and the more dunes I climbed toward Mana, the farther away I got... I miss his friendship so much. *sigh* Regretting the past does nothing for the future, right? So I shouldn't dwell on losing Velvet Eden, but I can't help it... Not having a band is horrible. It's so lonely. The loneliness is so cold and empty that it makes the frozen vaccum of space look warm and inviting. Anyway, I got way to drunk last night! I woke up with bruises all over me from falling down, and a shattered bottle of wine next to me. Apparently I wrote my name on the floor with my lightsaber at one point too! Jesus! According to the drunken post I made last night, I named my lightsaber Larry! Wow I was smashed! I hope I didn't make too much of a fool of myself, and I relly hope that Közi and Ryonai liked thier presents! Anyway, I gotta get home now. This is twice I've borrowed this side-room here to post now; Once last night, once this morning! ^_^;;;
Current Mood: lonely
|12:41 am - Larry da Lighshaber ish myyyy friend! *hick*|
Dish party ish fun and stuff! *giggles* I keep fallin' on da floor and fallin'! Hahaha! I said fallin' twice! *hick* I am shoooo durnk! I like wine! I met shome peoples too! Oh! I'm back on earth now! I found a shide room and a computer! I can type wordsh on it! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! ::falls over again, stumbles back up:: Ooooopshies! I falled ofer again! Heehee! Da bartender offereded me some weeeed, but I dun wann any weeeeed! I askeded for a roll, but I fink he tought I meanted roll a blunt! I wanted extasy! Doi! I taked to Mana tonight 2. I mish him a lot. *sigh* He wuz my friend a looong time ago. He's all big and famus now though, sho I'm not important. It'z cool though. I undershtand! Ooooh, I need more drinky! Larry says I need more wine! Larry ish my friend, so I should drink! Bai!
Current Mood: drunk
June 6th, 2003
|09:19 pm - I'm comin' home!|
I'm finally gettin' off this scorching ball of dust! While my 1337 1igh754b3r 5ki11z apparently didn't persuade the blind, flying elephant bug thing named Watto, it did convince a really old ugly ass thing called Sebulba to give me his ship. Apparently he won it quite a while back when he did a thing called podracing. But whatever, I don't care. All I know is I'm comin' home! WOOT! If all goes as planned, I'll re=enter the atmosphere tomorrow night! Good thing my origami army knows how to fly these things! Even if they are piggies.... Hehe, you know what's cool? I figured out how to write my name with my lightsaber! Hehe, Darth Dada baby! Hmmm... Wonder if anyone will even remember me when I get back....
Current Mood: ecstatic
|12:45 am - Freedom?|
Well, after searching around Mos Eisley and coming up with nothing spaceworthy to get home, I used my lightsaber to, um, ask for a ride over to Mos Espa, this dustball's other major spaceport. Here I found a bug/elephant thing called Watto who looks older than the sand on this planet. Anyway, after repeated attempts to pick me up (Jesus, are all males of all species on all planets all the same?! ::rolls eyes:: If he only knew....), I let him talk to my double-bladed buddy. I guess my 1337 n1nj4 5ki11z didn't impress him, 'cause he only offered me a POS that wouldn't even get me back to Mos Eisley. Kept muttering something about mindtricks not working on him. ::shrug:: Dunno what that's about, but his eyes are completely glazed over with cataracts. Anywho,I told him I need to get back to Earth, but he had no clue what I was talking about. I offered him money, but he had no clue what a Platinum Card was! >_< Ugh, this place is so gross... I just wanna be home.... Oh well, at least I have Mana's Face to keep me company! ~_^ *sigh* I guess tomorrow I have to go convince Watto to, um, donate a better ship. I'd rather not have to deal with the little hooded midget people... They creep me out....
Current Mood: distressed
June 3rd, 2003
|11:07 pm - Location: Tatooine|
Hello? Anyone there? Is this thing reading me? Oh wait... There we go. Stupid crappy HoloNet Transciever... Is nothing on this planet in working order? Stupid hive of scum and villiany... Anywho, I hope this makes it to Earth. I'm not sure how compatible old Imperial HoloNet systems are with our primitive technology... *sigh* But even if it's advanced, it doens't mean it works! I guess some things never change! >_< Anywho, since you guys are prolly wonderin' what the hell happened to me (or maybe not since no one pays attention to me anyway), that idiot darth_lida dragged me out to the edge of the friggin' galaxy and then realized I wasn't a girl! >_< So he dropped me off in some city called Mos Eisly! You wanna talk about some ugly people? Come see this place! EEW! That thing just tried to go up my skirt with it's tenticle! GROSS!!!! Anyway, he ditched me here and flew off, but I got the last laugh.... I have his double-bladed lightsaber! XD Hell yeah! *HISS-SNAP* Get the hell away from me you ugly, slimy thing! *VWOOOOM* Damn straight you're gonna go sit your ass back down! ::returns to screen:: Anywho, I've constructed my origami army using a paper-like substance that they call flimsiplast, and they're currently working on building a ship to get the hell outta here! I can't wait. This place is so dry and dirty... It's twin suns are ruining my complexion.... Hmmm..... Perhaps I'll use this lightsaber to comandeer a ship.....
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: Figrin Da'an and the Modul Nodes
December 21st, 2002
|12:12 pm - Make it end!|
So yeah, since I haven't had a gig in a really long time, I was gettin' low on the funds. So I decided to get a job in the mall... Big mistake. I think the American guy that hired me thinks I'm some hot chick, but I don't talk to him much. I pretend I don't know English! ^_^;;; He's not here for the most part anyway, so I end up working ass-long hours like 15-16 hour days! And people just keep staring at me, since I work at a cell phone kiosk in the middle of the mall... Mostly Americans; I guess they're not too exposed to visual kei. I get the feeling that people only buy stuff from me 'cause they think I'm hot. I mean honestly, do you really that just because you buy something from me, I'm gonna jump in bed with you? None of them are even cute! Yuck! And the stupid people! We have cell phone stuff all over the kiosk, and they ask, "Do you sell cell phone stuff?" When I get those people, I just say "No". Then they point to the stuff and say, "Yes you do!" Then why did you ask me?!?!?!? I hate stupid people. I want a gig so I don't have to do this shit anymore... I work so much that I never get to see my friends! And I have to hear the retarted music from the store next door... On a 15 minute loop.... Which means I have to hear each song 64 times today! And it's crappy pop music! Ayumi and Gackt (no offense Gackt!) all day long!!! And the kids!!!! RAR!!! If one more kid looks up my skirt and says "Mommy, she has a wee-wee" I'm gonna kill someone!!!!! It's so boring and annoying! I can't even leave the stand to go get food or go to the bathroom! It's inhumane!!!! I don't even have a mirror to work on make-up and hair!!! In fact, I'm at work right now! I ganked one of my old bandmate's AOL accounts so I could get on the 'net. Only downside is everytime he signs on, I get kicked offline. Well, that and it's a 56k connection! X_x Oh man, here comes the boss to stare at me again... Hopefully he'll leave soon...
((OOC: I needed to make a RP post and couldn't think of anything to post about, so I just Dada in my situation! ^_^;;; Maybe I'll dress up for work one day.... No wait, I'd totally get fired.... -_-))
Current Mood: annoyed
November 19th, 2002
|12:33 am - Where is everyone???|
I went to Mana's house today to see what was up with him and if he still hates me and stuff, but he didn't answer the door. I called on my cell and got no answer, but I could hear slight noise in the house.... And I saw a weird light coming from one of the windows. My first thought was that it was a movie or something, but then I realized the light was coming from the dining room! So I climbed up the slight wall using both my spider-like agility and wallcrawling skillz, and a ladder (~_^) and looked in the window. What I saw was NOT a movie, but it looked like something out of one! In one of the open coffins in the corner was a freaky blue swirly light thing!!!! I think it ate Mana!!! It lookes like some freaky-weird time-portal or something!!! And I couldn't get a hold of any of the other members of MM!!!! I think they all got sucked in a time portal!!!!! What if they never come back?! Who will be my "Best Friend That Lovingly Neglects Me"?!?!?!?! I have to build my origami army up to rescue them!!!! I'll show Mana that I'm worth something!!!! Well, right after I figure out how to fix the time-space continuum that ate them..... ::runs off to do calculations and build army::
Current Mood: worried
October 19th, 2002
|11:17 pm - Oi....|
So I went to party and pulled a perfect 180 into the parking spot with my motorcyle! Of course no one noticed, but I didn't expect anyone to... I went in and changed clothes and headed straight to the bar. I played a drinking game with Nao, got smashed, and had a lot of fun. Then I went to find Mana and some little pink-haired bitch hit him! I tried to hit him back, but apparently I passed out ((aka, my comp froze.....))... When I woke up, I was really confused... Then I passed out again. When I woke up that time, there was a person next to me but they ran away to Mana, which reassured me that it was still the same day! ^_^;;; So I sat down with my hangover and tried to remember stuff, which made me think of that little pink bitch! I wandered around and tried to find him. He came out of a room with some big guys and I followed him until he ran after Kozi. I tried to do a flying sidekick but in my post drunken haze, I kinda just flew right through the middle of that fight. I don't think anyone even noticed me.... At that point, I decided it wasn't worth my time and to go home. I walked out to my motorcycle, but forgot my change of clothes. So I went back inside and ran into Nao again, but passed out as I was talking to him... Then I left.... So all in all, a total of one person noticed me. I guess that means I'm gaining in popularity, right? I hope Mana's okay... I realized that I still regard him as my best friend and that I really miss him a lot.... And I'm REALLY pissed at that little pink bitch... I'm gonna track him down, I swear....
((OOC: I'm so sorry about my comp. Both times that it froze, I was just about to do something that may have actually gotten me noticed.... Oh well.... Guess Dada's just destined to be "that pretty guy over there" that never really gets into things...))
Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A ROCK, BERSERKER!!!!
October 14th, 2002
|11:42 pm - Oi.......|
Wow, I was out a LONG TIME!!!! I woke up this afternoon on the floor near the bar.... Apparently I passed out a few weeks ago at the party and no one woke me up! Guess that shows how much everyone really cares about me.... I'm never getting drunk again! Next time, I'll like pass out and hit my head and spontaneously combust and no one will give crap enough to help me! I can see it in the headlines now:
"FRIENDLESS, LONELY JAPANESE ROCKSTAR DIES IN BURST OF FLAMES AFTER PASSING OUT AND HITTING HEAD!!!"
Oh wait... It would never make the headlines 'cause NOBODY WOULD FREAKIN' NOTICE ME!!!! Maybe I'm being selfish....
( At least I wasn't the worst off....Collapse )
Current Mood: worried
September 16th, 2002
|09:33 am - It's Mini-Me!!!|
Lookie what I made on ReasonablyClever.com!!!It's a little LEGO me!!!
Grr... I had to have boobies for this... No corsets for guys... Oh well, aren't I cute as a LEGO? ~_^
Current Mood: ecstatic
September 12th, 2002
|04:56 am - *sigh* Why do I do this?|
Why do I go out? Why do I think I'm Mana's friend? I'm nothing to everyone... A whole like 2 people noticed me the other night...
To start off, I have to ride in the back of Mana's car so Klaha can ride up front. Okay, I'm cool with that, I understand they have a thing goin' on... So we get there, and they promptly walk in... leaving me in the backseat. So I get out and go in and sit by the bar idly folding napkins. Mana comes over once and we talk about Klaha and happiness... *sigh* Then he goes back to Klaha and I go back to my Origami Army. And so it is for a long time... Kozi shows off his piercings in the bathroom, but I'm not in the mood to partake in that. Other than Mana informing me that he saw Kozi's "Magnum", I am alone again... I get bored eventually and decide to take a nap until Mana wants to leave, but when I wake up, Mana and Klaha are gone... with my purse. Thankfully Yu~ki is incredibly nice and gives me a ride. I hate being a burden on people...
( So we get to Klaha's and things get REALLY interesting...Collapse )
Current Mood: crushed
August 25th, 2002
|04:23 am - My Card!|
Lookie! I have a card too!!!
((OOC: God, making that animated was a bitch and a half! This is actually post #8, but I noticed that after I saved it. Oh well... I also wanted to make the corners transparent, but screwed it up and had to redo the frames. ImageReady is NOT fun to work in, but I'll figure it out...))
August 21st, 2002
|02:22 am - It's all my fault, and now I'm alone...|
Well, tonight was a night of ups and downs... Finally got to go to Candy Con with Mana, and had some fun. As soon as we got there, Mana went off to talk to other people, so I went and bought Emiru a big honkin' bag of cotton candy. Then I tried to eat a huge-ass jawbreaker and Emiru was trying to get it out of my mouth. Then I accidentally spit it out and hit a dealer in the back of the head! *giggle* Oops! Glad he didn't see me! I talked to Hide (even though I couldn't see him) and Klaha tonight. Once again, I acted like an immature child, and that got me into trouble. Hide was awesome and was throwin' gummy bears at people. Emiru got on my back when Mana wanted to talk to Yu~ki and we ran around and went over to a pudding stand where we had a pudding and chocolate syrup fight! It was fun! Then Mana came over and got hit and got REALLY mad at me... He was all chokin' me and stuff for getting chocolate on his dress... Then Emiru and I started licking the chocolate off of Mana but Klaha pushed me away. So Emiru started licking me, and I licked him back, which led to other things... So like there was this big crowd around us watching (we were totally oblivious) and Mana and Klaha snuck off. Then Emiru realized that Yu~ki was standing there, and it all went downhill from there... I feel horrible for coming between Yu~ki and Emiru... Yu~ki was so mad, and Emiru was crying and everyone felt like shit. I just wanted to help, but it seemed that everything I did made things worse. Emiru, if you're reading this, I'm sorry, and I owe you. I think Mana and Klaha have a thing goin', even though Mana really likes Yu~ki... They spent a lot of the evening together and went home together. I figured that I had caused enough trouble so I called a cab.
( Now I'm alone...Collapse )
Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: Sad Mask
August 12th, 2002
|10:37 pm - CANDY CON!!!! WOOT!!!!!|
Candy, candy, candy, candy, CANDY!!! ALRIGHT!!! Here comes the Candy Con!!! YES!!! Finally, a night of sweet candy goodness!!! And I'll get to see Mana again! Hopefully I can repair some of the damage I did to our relationship! Mmm.... Ma--Candy.... ^_^;;; In other news, I'm goin' to Akihibara for a few days to play in all the great toys and arcades there! Talk to ya later!!!
August 5th, 2002
|07:55 am - Why?|
Why must everything crumble at once? I'm having band problems, so I've basically shut everyone out except the pizza delivery guy... As far as I know, my only friend, Mana, is still depressed. I've even shut him out... God, why must all of us J-rockers get so melodramatic? Even I suffer it, as me shutting out my only friend shows... I was so happy to finally have a friend again, and what do I do? Shut him out... What is wrong with me? Am I really that stupid? I've seen on the caller ID that he's been calling, but why won't I answer? He's been through the same problems, and I've been through them many times in the past, but why is this time different? Why can't I just pick up the phone? If he really still is depressed, I'm sure I'm not helping anything... Maybe it's because subconsciously don't want to burden him any more than he already is with the passing of his friend... Maybe it's because I'm afraid that he'll think less of me if I don't act super happy and bouncy like normal... I mean, I'm sure he understands that NO ONE can possibly be happy all the time, but I don't want to burden him. I want him to like me; he's my only friend. But if I truly consider him my friend, shouldn’t I be not afraid to show him my deepest inner feelings? I've never shown anyone those things; maybe that's why I have band problems... Maybe I think too much; worry too much... I'm so thankful for Mana's friendship that I don't want to damage it by dumping problems on him; but is shutting him out not doing just as much, or more, damage as that? He's not like one of my video games that I can just pause and come back to... I can't load a previous save game and fix past problems... Maybe this is why Mana is my only friend... Maybe I'm too cautious about too many things. I desperately want people to like me, but I fear I go about things the wrong way some, if not most, of the time. I look back over the past few years of my life and I see the faces of so many people that I could have become friends with; people I was scared to get close to... But when I think of Mana, I don't feel quite the same as I feel about everyone else... There's something else there, something that I can't put my finger on... It's something I don't want to lose, something I don't want to damage. It's something I would protect with my life, at all costs. Mana is the one person, that when I have let a problem slip in the past, has listened and accepted me. I just want him to like me, to be there when I have problems, and to know that I will be here from now on. I will never ignore one of his phone calls again. *ring* There's the phone now... ::waits for caller ID to register:: It's Mana. I should go. Here's hoping this goes well...
Current Mood: hopeful
July 28th, 2002
|05:45 pm - No Candy Con.... §§;_;§§|
Mana called me and told me that he needs me to go with him somewhere... So much for the candy convention.... But he seemed really, really sad, so I should be there for him. He's one of my only friends, and I want to help him in any way I possibly can. I hope everything's okay... He's been really down for the past couple of days. Poor Mana, I hope it's not someone hating him or anything... I mean, yeah, so he gets drunk every once in a while, what's the big deal? Everyone needs to cut loose sometimes. Me, I go for candy and sweets and stuff, but Mana likes liquor. No biggie... Grr... If someone is on his case for acting up at the gallery, I'm gonna cut their face off! Feel my wrath! On the other hand, he seems especially torn apart right now, so it's prolly not something like that. All I can do is be here for him and hope that he lets me in to help him in whatever way I can... From what I've observed, he's very reluctant to let people know his true self and to trust them. I hope I'm one of the few he can trust... Well, he's picking me up soon, so I gotta go put on his face. I hope I can help....
Current Mood: worried
Current Music: Strong Badia's national anthem
July 16th, 2002
|11:28 pm - The other night with Mana...|
Well, I gave Mana his car back and we looked over Kozi's paintings again... Hehe, that was one big Gackt-ass! Way to go Gackt! *Ahem* Anyway, after the gallery, Mana gave me a ride home and we sat and talked for what seemed to be forever. God, I miss sitting and talking with Mana... It was just like so long ago... He told me of his phenomenal success; of Malice Mizer's loss of Gackt, Kami (§§;_;§§), and Klaha, of his website (I went there today, and I must give Mana two thumbs up for the games! §§^_^§§), his store, his fanclub, his new project, etc. Kinda made me feel like I was in the presence of a god in the form of my old friend. I must say that I'm very happy for him. I can only wish and hope for that success for myself and Velvet Eden. Then he told me of his personal life... That made me kind of thankful for my small taste of success... It was a sad story. He feels that everyone hates him, or has problems with him. He told me of how he has become two different people, both of which he hates. He said he had his cold and heartless side, which most people see, and his uncontrolable and drunk side. I think I saw a third side of Mana that night; a caring, compassionate, loving Mana; a vulnerable, sad, lonely Mana... I wanted to cry for him. Oh how I wish I could make him feel better... We then watched some of my concert footage and he complimented me on how much better we have gotten. Coming from someone who I emulate, that is a pretty big thing. We talked and laughed had an all-around really great time, at least in my opinion. By that time, it was nearing one in the morning. Mana gracefully said his goodnight and invited me to dinner later in the week. Of course, I accepted without hesitation. As he was walking out the door, I gave him one of my patented Dada Hugs, and *blush* a little something extra to help make him feel better... I miss him, more than he'll ever know... I just want him to know that no matter what, I will always be here for him...
Current Mood: nostalgic
July 12th, 2002
|04:32 am - New AIM Name! §§^_^§§|
Gotta new screen name on AIM for you guys to contact me at: Dada Sama! Gee, there's a suprise! lol Talk to ya later! §§~_^§§
|02:03 am - Called Mana today...|
Hi everyone, I'm new here... I just moved and called Mana today. Realized I live kinda close to him and he showed me this cool journal thingy. Lookin' forward to hangin' out with him more often. He invited me to Kozi's gallery opening tomorrow night, so I'm lookin' forward to that. From what I understood, he and Kozi weren't gettin' along, but whatever. Sounds like fun, so I'm there! Well, hope to have a lot of fun here; looks like you guys have WAY too much fun! Talk to ya later!